Hi Ladies, this is for you! Many of you have recently sent me mails asking that I write more on relationships instead of on political issues. Well I will try and balance them both! Pls read the piece below & let me know what you think. Good luck!
I
have often heard some people advising ladies to have backup boyfriends.
This means that aside her primary or main boyfriend, a lady should have
another boyfriend she may not necessarily be close to or intimate with
as she could just be platonic friends with the so called backup
boyfriend without strings attached. They argue that in case her current
boyfriend disappoints her or fails to marry her, she will switch over to
the backup boyfriend.
Now
let me tell you categorically that with my several years of experience
as a counsellor, that this kind of advice from whoever gives you such
depraved advice is completely wrong and if you adhere to such advice as a
lady, you will only end up hurting yourself at the end of the day.
Now
today I will be sharing with you ten solid and proven reasons why as a
lady you must never even contemplate having any backup boyfriend. Those
who have done this have always regretted their actions. The reasons are
as follows:
1. It Makes
You Cheap As A Woman: Have you ever imagined how it feels as a lady to
know that you have just one boyfriend and the peace of mind you will
have to focus on your school, job or career knowing fully well that you
are faithful to your guy? Have you ever imagined how cheap you will look
to your boyfriend if he eventually finds out that you are double
dating? Imagine the lies you would have to tell to cover up your
unfaithfulness. Imagine the trust he had in you which you will shatter
by doing so! You will simply look cheap as a lady and this will
seriously affect your self worth as a woman.
2.
It Can Break Up Your Current Relationship: One thing some ladies fail
to realize is that once trust is broken, it will be very difficult to
get it back. Once your loving boyfriend who really trusted you before
discovers you've been insincere with him all along, this can break your
current relationship and even your backup boyfriend too may find out and
also end the relationship and decide to have nothing to do with you.
They will believe that once a cheat, always a cheat.
3.
It Leads To Having Multiple Sexual Partners: You may not know this but
the more men you make friends with as a lady, the likelihood of
developing and having feelings for them and eventually having sex with
them even when you never intended this to happen. This is because
sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak and as a result of
this, you may be unable to control certain things at certain points in
time and you may become overwhelmed and give in to certain demands by
men especially as they can use their manly prowess to manipulate you to
give in to their demands. This can eventually ruin your life.
4.
You May Contract STDs: One of the dangerous effects of having spare or
backup boyfriends as a lady is that since the likelihood of having sex
with them is high, so also the likelihood of contracting deadly sexually
transmitted diseases which can eventually destroy your life beyond
repair and render all your years of struggle useless and likewise even
destroy your future. Some STDs actually don't even have known cure while
others are so deadly that they're difficult to detect and those who
have them could carry them for many years and would continue to spread
these diseases to others through sex.
5.
It Will Exhaust Your Energy, Time & Resources: Having a backup or
spare boyfriend does not come as easy as you think. It will surely make
you lose concentration in your school, career or job because you will be
trying to please each of them because you are hoping that one of them
will propose marriage to you which may never even happen in the first
place. You will keep wasting your energy, your time and your resources
including money for calls, text messages, data subscriptions for
browsing on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Whatsapp just to keep in
touch with the both of your boyfriends at the same time. Sometimes you
will be confused on how to handle this type of relationship and it will
even make you less productive because you're facing too many commitments
at the same time. Please desist from this type of relationship that can
kill you.
6. It Can
Lead To Everlasting Heartbreaks: One thing many ladies fail to realize
in relationships is that you can't eat your cake and have it back, no
way! If you think you will keep flirting about with men and expect not
to have the consequences of your actions, you are simply deceiving
yourself. By keeping multiple men as your boyfriends, you are simply
creating a channel for everlasting heartbreak for yourself which can
happen anytime. Have you ever wondered why some beautiful ladies you
thought already had boyfriends but when you get close to them you will
discover they don't have any? Some of them had multiple boyfriends
before and these guys having discovered, they jilted them and the ladies
now don't have any men coming for them because of their past deeds. Be
careful how you live your life as a lady, it can affect your future.
7.
You Can Never Truly Love Anyone By Having Multiple Boyfriends: It will
definitely be impossible for you to truly fall in love or love a guy
when you have many guys you're dating. There will surely be conflict of
interest and you will be confused on who to actually give your love to.
You can never love both guys the same way and by trying to share your
love between the both of them, you will end up not loving anyone of them
enough and this will surely crash your relationship and you will lose
out of both relationships in the long run. Be careful as a lady, not all
that glitters is gold.
8.
It Can Affect You Psychologically: You may not know the effect of some
actions you take as a lady, but when the consequences of your actions
start manifesting, you will begin to regret your actions and by then it
might be difficult to reverse such actions because it would have been
too late. The fact is that the state of your relationship can seriously
affect your feelings, emotions, your thinking and as well as your total
state of mind. Women are very emotional and as a woman, you must not
allow any negative thing affect your mind or else if this happens, it
can lead to psychological trauma.
9.
It Can Lead To Depression: People that had depression didn't just start
it suddenly, no, it's an accumulated bout of pains, sorrow, suffering
and trauma that led them to the state of depression they found themselves.
These issues are linked together because when you continue to have
multiple boyfriends as a lady, heartbreak will eventually happen and
when this happens, depression is inevitable in that circumstance
especially when you continue to have frequent heartbreaks.
10.
It Can Ruin Your Destiny: Many ladies who sell their bodies by having
several boyfriends all in the name of having fun don't know the harm
they're doing to their destinies. Many ladies in Nigeria today have been
used for money rituals by men just because these ladies keep flirting
with different men and hopping from one bed to another. Many of these
ladies too have been destroyed spiritually by men who slept with them
and that's why many women would get married but would never bear
children. Some women would give birth but would actually give birth to
imbeciles and deformed children because of the kind of things they've
done in the past and the kind of people they've knowingly or unknowingly
mingled with in the past who have now destroyed their destinies. Ladies
be warned, wait for your time. Stop rushing and stop having side
boyfriends or backup boyfriends because it is dangerous to do so. Be
warned. A word is enough for the wise. This is wishing all you ladies
the best in your relationships and wishing that you get the right man
that will love you with all his heart and make you happy! God bless
you.
If you want to talk to me, just holla me a mail below. All the best!
By Tayo Demola
Human Rights Activist & Relationship Coach
Email: tayodemola@gmail.com
