The issue
of parenting could be tasking for many parents especially with the economic
situation in Nigeria. Many parents find it difficult to exert much control and
supervision over their children since they are busy chasing money. But then the
family needs the money in order to be able to take care of its basic
needs so that life will be meaningful. You need the money as a
family but that should not be at the expense of catering for your children's
other needs which go beyond financial needs.
As for children, you should realize that your
parents mean well for you and that is why you hardly see them at home. They are
busy trying to make money for your upkeep, school fees and Christmas clothes. They
know that staying at home will never give them the wherewithal to cater for the
family. The fact is that money alone cannot take care of a child. Children need
both financial, emotional and as well as psychological care from parents and
when any of these is lacking, there will be problem either now or later .
Parents
should realize that to successfully bring up children, it takes a whole lot of
efforts and sacrifice. A lot of resources are required to bring up children
and one very important resource is having quality time for the child.
There is the need for parents to have time to constantly monitor the
progress of their children and also impart positively into these children
who are leaders of tomorrow. Parents should not just give birth to children for
the sake of it, but should have a plan on how they intend to take care of these
children and therefore make concerted efforts to accomplish such plan.
No matter
how you look at it, whatever a child will become in life is greatly determined
by the parents. Parents can set the pace for the success or failure of their
children by their actions or inactions as the case may be. As a result, the
society will be better off today if parents live up to their responsibilities
towards their children. Crime and other social vices would be greatly reduced
if children are properly nurtured in all ramifications by their parents who
incidentally are their first teachers and first point of contact with the
society.
When a
family decides that the wife should become a full time housewife, there is
nothing wrong with this to an extent. As long as the man of the house earns as
much income as to cater for the family needs, the woman would do well to take
care of the home front which incidentally is the exclusive preserve of women. When
one or both parents are working class, no matter their busy schedule, they
should find time for their children once in a while to constantly monitor their
progress and counsel them where need be. Can business or career success without
a corresponding success at the home front be justified? Should the home front
be sacrificed for the sake of business or career and if one is to be
preferred to the other which would it be?
I think
that parents would do better to set their priorities right and do the right
thing at the right time. Although it is not easy but with efforts and prayers
you will get there. There are times when a child would be confused about
something and would turn to his parents to get clarifications and when the
parent is not there, the child would have no option than to confide in a
stranger who may end up misleading such child. For parents who work and live
far away from their families, it is just not enough to send money to your
family and think that because you always send them money then all is well with
them. You have to create time to be with your children once in a while no
matter how busy you may be in order to see to their emotional and psychological
welfare which money can never take care of no matter how you dish out the money
to them.
Another
issue is that for every landmark step a child undertakes such as being offered scholarship
to study abroad, being offered admission into the university, graduation and
convocation, wedding, etc, there is the need for at least one of the parents to
be available to play their role as parents no matter where they are or how
choked up they are at work. They have to be available to offer counseling and
words of advice. There is really no need for you to bring children into
the world if you know you cannot play your role as a parent. The reason you got
those children is for you to cater for them until they can stand on their own.
Children that had good parental care are more likely to become better parents
themselves. When they eventually get married and have their own children they
will exhibit what they learnt from their parents. So the circle of good
parenting continues like that. But if they were not properly brought up or
catered for, you can imagine what will happen. Chances are that they will grow
up with grudges, negative feelings and bad traits which they may likely transfer
to their own families when they eventually marry and have children.
As a parent,
do you know the kind of friends your child keeps? Have you one day paid an
unshedulled visit to his school to know what is really going on there? Any type
of friend you think will negatively influence your child then cut him or her off
from such relationship as much as you can. Many bad traits children learn are
usually from their friends and acquaintances. Parents should monitor their
children closely and ensure they do not associate with the wrong kind of people
who will negatively influence them. Children are God’s gift and parents should do
everything possible to cater for their welfare without leaving anything to
chance.
Therefore
no matter the constraints, parents should strive not only to provide for the
financial and material needs of their children and families but should also
ensure that their emotional and psychological needs are taken care of as
well in order to enhance the children's developmental capabilities.
Tayo Demola
